Heading Nowhere
by Levii
Summary: Yamato, Taichi, their sibs and Daisuke pile in a car and head for the country. With Tai's inability to keep his hands to himself, and Yamato's hopes to arrive before dark, it won't be a relaxing ride. Taito-ness. General obscurity.


_I don't know…I was teasing my beta or something and THIS happened. Road-trippiness. Whee! Let's see…ages…if Yamato's driving he and Tai are prolly in the 18/19 range. That would make the younger kids around 14. I think. ^^ They act pretty immature. PG-13 for really obscure sex references(*g* threatened rape and constant groping) and language. I'm posting it now, I might add to it, or I might feel better in the morning and take it down…_

Yamato turned the car, steering his way through the one lane road and a rather vacant country side. Void, save some agriculture on the right. He checked the backseat in his rear view mirror, and the three occupants chattered away. "How did this happen?" he muttered, "It was SUPPOSE to be just me and TK, and suddenly we have six in the car. Why do you people want to see our grandmother so bad anyway?" 

"Well, you know why I'm here," Taichi offered from the passenger seat, "My 'rents were out of town and I didn't have anywhere else to be. Plus, I'd get lonely if you left me."

"Oh yes. So lonely. Get your hand off there, I'm driving."

Tai drew the hand back, unfazed. "Anyway, I couldn't just leave Kari by herself. She and TK get along so well, afterall."

"Ok, ok, I can see that," Yamato said, turning yet another corner. The road was windy. No one better get carsick in THIS car, "But ," he jabbed a thumb at the boy behind Taichi, "Why is he here?"

The he, of course, was Daisuke Motomiya, currently taking up more than his share of room in the backseat. A huge pair of headphones covered his ears and he leaned closer to the center seat to catch a glimpse of the country fron the front window. Takeru (the lucky bloke to get the middle seat) had given up invasion protest and taken up a conversation with Hikari. On her side of the care.

"Him?" Tai looked over his shoulder, "He's just along for the ride. Aw, c'mon Matt, Kari and TK wanted him to come."

"And why does he want to see my grandmother?"

"Oh, get off that," Taichi said, relaxing back into the comfort of his seat, "Just think of it as a roadtrip. Fun fun fun."

"To see my GRANDMOTHER."

"Matt!"

The exuberance of their argument leaked into the back, causing the current conversation to cease and three heads to turn. Daisuke yanked down his headphones to listen.

"What're you guys argueing about NOW?" Hikari asked, "We're not even an hour into the trip."

"Nothing," Yamato muttered, giving the wheel a particularly violent jerk which threw the backseaters against Daisuke and the window. The redhead yelped.

"Hey!" he protested. The driver rolled his eyes. Tachi pried his face loose of his window and shot Yamato a dirty look.

"Someone's in a bad mood," he muttered. The blonde shot him his own look. Of doom.

"Hey," Hikari called from the back, "Its been a little while and I was wondering if we could stop at a rest stop or something. I need to stretch my legs."

"Rest stop sounds good," Taichi added. Hikari reached across TK and poked Daisuke in the ribs. His headphones had gone back on, blasting at a level his surrouding companions could hear quite well.

"Agree," she hissed at him. He blinked, then nodded his head.

"Oh, yeah, Hikari's right!" he shouted, over his own music, "Yup, I agree one hundred percent. Indefinitely, Un…um, unscrup…what's that word?"

"We're not stopping yet," Yamato cut in, "I want to get there before dark. We can stop in another hour or so, food."

Hikari squirmed. "Please?" she asked again, "It would be nice…"

"Can't you wait?"

The short brunette squirmed again. Takeru raised an eyebrow at her.

"You shouldn't've drinken all those sodas, Kari…"

"It was only two! Two!" she insisted, "Come on, Matt, I reeeaaally have to pee! And there IS a rest stop up ahead, I saw a sign! It'll only take a minute. Pleaspleaseplease-"

"Can't you wait until we get to town?"

"But I really have to pee!" she insisted. When no response came back, she crossed her legs and arms and settled back in her seat with a "hmmph" noise. Taichi stole a glance back to his sister, and was about to give Yamato his two cents on the situation when he heard a startled yelp. He peered over the side of his chair. Hikari was taking a different approach.

"Yamato," she warned, tightening her head-lock on a rather startled Takeru, "If you don't pull over, I'm going to cause your brother some serious bodily harm. Come on, next rest stop!"

"Hik-mmph," TK protested, finding his face rather ungracefully pushed up against the other's chest. 

"Oh gee, I think you better listen to her," Taichi said, "She can get pretty mean." Yamato let out an exasperated sigh.

"Ok, I'll pull over," he said, "But you better make it quick, or we are SO leaving without you. …Get your hand off me, Tai."

Tai moved his hand.

"Record time!" Hikari announced, running back to the little wagon and throwing herself in the seat next to Takeru. 1:04 seconds was an impressive time for a reststop bathroom run, so Yamato couldn't complain, though he did make a point of taking off as soon as she had buckled in.

"Couldn't we have swapped seats or something?" Takeru asked, noting how much legroom the other two backseaters had, "Why do I always have to sit in the middle?"

"Yuh," Daisuke agreed, "The girl should sit in the middle, Kari." 

"What? In a car full of guys?" she asked jokingly, "No, I should sit by the door incase I have to ESCAPE or something!"

"Oh yeah, we're real dangerous."

"Shut up, Dai."

The redhead shrugged and played with his headphone cord. Takeru attempted a way to get comfortable. There was a pause.

"Its getting too quiet," Daisuke said. Yamato eyed him in the rear view mirror.

"Its just quiet enough," he said.

"No, too quiet," the other insisted, "I have to sing." Everyone inched away.

"No," said Hikari carefully, "No you don't."

"Whaa? Don't you like my singing, Hikari?"

"No."

"I wasn't asking YOU, Ishida! Let's see, what can I sing…"

"How about that song that doesn't end?"

"Don't ENCOURAGE him, TK."

"The HAND, Tai…"

"How about we play a game instead?" Hikari offered quickly, "Um…there's this game me and Tai would always play. You think of something, then we try to find it. The first one to find it, gets to pick the next item."

"Hey, that's a great idea!" Yamato piped, his intentions to quiet the car and most of all, Daisuke, "How about we play 'no one can talk until they see a white cow'?" Taichi gave him a weird look. There was another silence.

"Does it have to be completely white?" Daisuke finally asked, "I mean, can it have spots? What if it's dirty?"

"Yeah," Tai added, "What if its dirty?"

"Or how about black with white spots? Or like, brown with white spots?"

"I want to know about the dirty cow."

Yamato smacked his forhead and refused to say anymore. Another silence followed. Takeru ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't think you guys quite get it," he said, breaking the silence. Tai and Daisuke both turned to look at him.

"What? Did you see a white cow?" Tai asked. Takeru just rubbed his eyes. Hikari peered around, checking out the suddenly quiet group.

"Hey," she said,"Does anyone have a hair thing?" she pushed her hair up with her hands, "Its kinda warm in there and I wan't to tie it back." A collective "nope" replied.

"Oh right, you're all guys," she said, pushing at her hair again and trying to catch her reflection in the window. The last word had been emphasized, "Next time lets bring Miyako instead of Daisuke."

"What?" Daisuke asked, trying his best to look hurt, "What do you MEAN? Don't you want me?"

"Sure, but right now, you don't have a hair tie." She said. He immediately dropped to look through the backpack that had been resting under his feet. He rummaged through it, losing half his arm in the body of the bag.

"I'm sure I have something," he said, still digging, "Ah-ha. Look. Rubber band. Who's the man?"

Hikari looked at him patheticlly, but took the rubber band to get her hair up with.

"Thanks."

"Welcome. Can I sing now?"

"…If you must."

"Ok. I got a song now: Wellll, there's no need to complain! We'll eliminate your pain! We can neutralize your brain to feel just fiiiiine, noowww! Buy a big bright green-"

"Can you shut him up?" Yamato asked Taichi.

"PLEASURE MACHINE!" 

"Aw, c'mon, at least sing a better song."

"I like that song!" Takeru defended, over the blare of his friend's vocal performance.

"Well you have bad taste!" Hikari yelled back.

"Bad taste?" Takeru said, mock horror rising in his voice, "How dare you, Kari! I'm not talking to you anymore. Instead, I'm going to sing with Daisuke. Put our product to the test…You'll feel just fiiiine nowww…"

"Oh god," Taichi muttered, listening to the clashing vocals. Yamato gave him a half smirk.

"I guess earplugs would be a worthy investment," he said.

The singing didn't last very long, as fourteen year old boys don't have the world's longest attention spans, and the car settled into its usual funk of quiet conversation. Which, when another hour passed, evolved into naptime. The three younger kids had taken up a group snooze session in the back, and Taichi kept yawning and rubbing his eyes. Yamato stole at glance at him.

"You can sleep, if you want," he offered, "I'm not tired yet."

Tai looked up, "Can I lean on you?"

"If you reaaallly want to."

"I reaaallly want to. Thanks," he said, getting comfortable against the others shoulder. Yamato rolled his eyes and grinned. Tai made a point of clasping his hands together.

"Look, I'm keeping my hands to myself," he muttered. Yamato held back another grin as Tai immediately dropped off. Somehow the blonde had managed a car vacant of snorers. Or at least in their current positions. It was so much easier to drive this way, no distractions, no annoying 60s music. Just a lulling calm that washed over the car like…

"OH SHIT!" Yamato let out the exclamation before he could stop himself, slamming on th the breaks and jarring awake the car of sleepers. Daisuke shot bolt upright, banging his head against the car ceiling. His hair hung in his eyes.

"What? What?" he asked, swiveling his head blindly around, "Are we there yet?"

"Shit," Yamato muttered again, cursing the cow that was standing dumbly RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. Taichi raised his head and yawned.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Damn COW."

All three backseaters stared.

"Well, what do you know," Takeru said, "It's a white cow."

"We can talk now," Hikari added. Taichi rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Is it a dirty cow?"

"No," Yamato muttered, "But it could have been a very DEAD cow," he pounded the horn, "Get out of the road you stupid bovine…"

The cow lazily lifted its head, before it tromped as slow as possible out of the blue wagon's way. They were immediately off again.

"Why'd you have to wake us up anyway, Ishida?" Daisuke grumped. The driver clenched his teeth but said nothing.

"Hey," Daisuke continnued, "Since we're all awake anyway, why don't we stop for some food?"

"Now?" Yamato asked, checking the cars clock and giving his passenger a reluctant look, "Its only 4:00. Don't you have some snacks in your bag?"

"Ate em all," the redhead replied, flopping back into the comfort of the beaten car seat. He scratched one of his ears, "C'mon, Ishida, I'm sure everyones hungry."

"I know I am."

"You don't count, Tai, you're always hungry."

"I guess I could go for some food," Hikari said, stretching and rolling her head, "Can we open a window or something, its stuffy in here?"

"If you want. Daisuke, we're gonna be there in oh…an hour or so. Can't you wait?"

"Hey, no fair, you let Kari go pee when she had to."

"That's DIFFERENT," the mentioned girl said. Daisuke looked doubtful.

"Please?"

Yamato let out a long sigh. "We'll see," he said, "Taichi, I TOLD you not to-"

"Pleeeaase? I mean um, look," Daisuke made a point of clumbsily putting the driver's brother in his second headlock of the day, "Daisuke hungry. Must eat. Kill Takeru if Ishida not comply."

"Oh right, I believe that one," Yamato muttered, showing no sign of pulling off, even though they had reached the outskrits of another town. A few diners peppered the roadside. Daisuke looked from one to another.

"Hey, Yamato," he said, trying to sound as menacing as possible, "If you don't pull off I'm going to RAPE a certain blonde back here…"

"… Pull over, nii-chan."

Taichi observed the scene from the corner of his eye. "Good luck," he told the redhead, "It doesn't look like you two have much room back there to-"

"OK!" Hikari cut in, attempting to pry Takeru loose from Daisuke's grip, "I think we've all had enough. Daisuke's right, we should get out of this car. Pull over."

"You're outnumbered," Tachi pointed out, "C'mon, Yamato, pull over!"

"Fine, fine," he said, turning into the next eatery, conveniently a McDonalds, "But no more stops. Everyone eat and go to the bathroom understand?"

"Thank you!" the backseaters called, scampering out of the car as soon as parking was complete. Yamato turned off the ignition and took a deep breath, running his hands back through his blonde hair.

"Let's go inside," he told his companion, "Come on, I'll buy."

"Really?"

"Sure, you've been the lesser of the evils this time around. Except the hand thing. Stoppit, this is getting old."

--

"Pleeease? I left my wallet in the car! Can't I hit you up for a few bucks."

"Dai…"

"Come on! I'll pay you back! Plus, its me, Daisuke. Totally trustworthy. Can't you do your best friend a favor?"

"Did you forget that best friend bit back when you were threatening to rape me?"

The clerk cleared her throat. "Are you guys ordering ANYTHING?" she asked. Hikari flushed and pushed in front of her two friends.

"I'm not letting them talk anymore," she informed the woman, "Anyway, give me six burgers and three drinks."

"Gee, Hikari," Daisuke cut in, "You gonna eat that all yourself?"

"Har Har," she said, as she gave the clerk her money, and the two boys the receipt, "You two owe me. Get the food when the number's called."

"Thanks, Kari," Takeru said, taking the slip of paper, "Go get us a table?"

"Sure."

"And ketchup!" Daisuke added.

"Sure!"

--

By the time the three got situated, Taichi and Yamato had made their grand entrance grabbing two cokes and an order of fries on the way. Hikari waved them over, and they made a point of cramming into the smallest booth avaliable.

"Thanks for pulling over!" Kari said brightly, peeling the paper back from her sandwhich.

"Yes," Daisuke said, already halfway done with his first burger, "We love you, Yamat-o!"

"Just shut up and eat," the blonde responded, but it was at least good natured. He poked the bag of fries, "God, how much grease is in these things?"

"That's why you have to eat them hot!" Taichi insisted, "Then they don't have time to turn the bag transparent with their grease."

Hikari winced. "Um, ew."

"Not eating them," Yamato said, pushing the bag over to Tai (which was probably what he wanted anyway).

"I'm going to the bathroom," Daisuke announced, crumpling his burger's wrappings. Kari grinned.

"I'll alert the media."

"No thanks, just move so I can get out. Thank you." While Daisuke plodded off the the restroom, the others took advantage of the room his empty space provided. Takeru flicked some sesame seeds of his hamburger bun.

"What if he gets lost?" he said.

"You're kidding, I hope."

"No, really," Kari piped, "TK and I lose him all the time. We've lost him in stores, we've lost him in arcades…"

"Bathrooms?"

"It's a possibility." Hikari shrugged and sipped at her soda, "Plus, think how pissed his parents would be." She clasped her hands together, "We'd get in so much TROUBLE."

"Alright," Tai said, giving her a grin, "Enough with the over active imagination, sis. It's a small place. He's not getting lost."

They finished their food, and piled their wrappers on the center tray. And waited.

"See, I told you he got lost," Hikari said finally.

"We don't KNOW that he's lost," Takeru pointed out.

"Oh come on, no one takes THAT long…"

Yamato looked at his watch as Taichi jumped in the conversation about Dai's mad directional skillz. It was getting late, and at the current time in the year, it would probably get dark soon.

"What do you think he did? Fell i-"

"Tai," Yamato interupted, tugging his companions sleeve, "Will you go look for him? At least find out where he is, okay?" The brunette shrugged, but left the booth to go and see. Hikari and Takeru looked at eachother.

"Why'd you let TAI go?" Takeru finally asked, "I thought you knew his…um…directional skills were worse than Daisuke's. Remember that wonderful map?"

"Let's hope he grew out of that," Yamato muttered, pulling back his jacket sleeve to check the time again, though only a minute had passed, "Because, we need to get out of here." As if on cue, Taichi bounded back up the group with a wide smile on his face.

"Find him?" Hikari asked hopefully.

"Nope," her brother responded, "Checked the whole building. I did find five yen on the floor though. Cool, huh?" Yamato smacked his head against the table.

"We lost Daisuke," he muttered.

"We lost Daisuke?"

"We lost Daisuke!! And I was responsible. Oh man, his parents are going to kill me…"

"Well we have to do something!" Hikari piped.

"Yeah," Tai agreed, "We all know where the car is, right? So let's just split up and look for him! Check around the building! Then drag him back. Sound good, Matt?"

"I guess," he said, finally lifting his head from the table, "But let's hurry. I don't like driving at night."

And so they split up, in search of the wild Dai. Taichi went out to the parking lot, Yamato checked the building again, and the other two checked out front. The situation looked pretty bleak.

"I'll check around this side, TK," Hikari told her friend, "And you go that way. If he's anywhere around here, we'll find him."

"Sounds good," Takeru responded, "Meet you on the other side."

And so THEY split up. Hikari went right, glancing back over her shoulder. She stumbled over a curb and found herself facing the sidewalk. A fence was on one side, and in front of the fence was a neat line of bushes. She glanced around behind her once more, when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and pull her down to the ground. Behind the bushes. She was too surprised to scream, even when her head hit the ground and she got a good look at her attacker.

"Its just me, Hikari! Shh!"

"Daisuke?!" she sat bolt upright, holding her head. Her surprise turned to anger and her eyebrows slanted in dangerously, "Daisuke!! What the hell are you doing?"

"Keep your voice down!" he said, pushing her back down below the tops of the bushes, "There are reasons!" Hikari narrowed her eyes at him.

"Oh, Daisuke," she said flatly, very deadpan, "We shouldn't. We're not even going out."

"Har har," he said, in much the same tone.

"Seriously, what ARE we doing in the bushes? We need to get back to the car."

"If you'll shut up, I'll tell you," he said. He was preoccupied watching the sidewalk from a break in the shrubbery, "This guy is STALKING me, Kari, I'm trying to lose him. He's been following me around since I left the bathroom. Its damn creepy."

"Oh, I'm so sure someone's STALKING you, Dai," she said, but the last word died on her lips as a man looking in his late 20s passed their hiding place. He walked with short jerky steps, and his head swiveled from side to side. He was definitely looking for something.

"That's him!" Daisuke hissed, "That guy in the blue jacket!" Hikari crouched down out of view, her breath catching in her throat.

"You're right!" she said, when the man had passed out of view, "He IS looking for you! Oh, Dai, we have to get out of here."

The redhead nodded, a frown crossing his face. "He's gone now. We should make a run for it."

"Now?" Hikari asked. There was a pause. Daisuke seized her arm.

"Now!" he confirmed, virtually dragging the girl out of the bushes and across the sidewalk leading to the parking lot.

"There's Tai, by the car!" Hikari said. They grinned, turning to run again. When, most unfortunatly, they ran straight into the man in the blue jacket. Both parties staggered backwards. 

"Hey!" The man said. And he would have said more, if the two teens hadn't taken off bolting yelling "TAIIICHIIII!!!" at the tops of their lungs. The brunette, who had been leaning against the wagon, stood up just in time to intercept his sister and Daisuke.

"Whoa, hey, calm down," he said, trying to pry Hikari off his waist, "What got into you two? And who's your friend?" The younger kids looked up slowly, to see the man from earlier approach.

"He's stalking me!" Daisuke cried, moving to stand closer to both Yagami's, "He's been following me since we ate!" The man remained silent.

"Um…hello?" Tai said, allowing Hikari to maintain a grip on his arm, "Why were you following HIM?"

"He dropped something," the man said with a shrug, pulling a pair of goggles out of his jacket pocket, "I just wanted to return these." Daisuke blinked. Hikari blinked. Taichi scratched his head.

"You're still carrying those around, Motomiya?" he asked. 

"He wasn't STALKING you, you moron!" Hikari added, much at the same time. Daisuke flushed.

"Uh, thanks," he said, reaching out to take the goggles and shove them deep down into pant's pocket. The man nodded.

"I was trying to catch you, but you kept dissapearing." He said. Daisuke muttered something about being busy, and the man shrugged and walked off again, back into the fast food place. That was about the time Takeru and Yamato showed up.

"Motomiya!" the older blonde exclaimed, glaring down at the redhead, "Where the hell WERE you?" Daisuke just looked at his shoes.

"Seriously!" Takeru added, "We looked everywhere." Hikari let out a long sigh and buried her face in her hands.

"You know," she mumbled, "You know those situations where you always REALLY want to know what happened, but when you find out you realy wish you hadn't. One of those, "don't ask" scenarios?"

"Yeah?" Yamato opened the car door.

"This is one of them," she said, giving her head a quick shake, "Trust me." Yamato sighed.

"Okay, okay, fine. I probably don't want to know. Into the car kiddies." Daisuke stuck his tongue out at the driver, but complied in entering the car. Taking the unfortunate seat in the middle.

"And we're off!" Taichi announced, flashing a grin as the car pulled out of the lot and made its way back to the highway. Yamato gave him a lopsided smile.

"I think we can still make it before dark," he said, "If not, you're SO driving."

__

I used too many adverbs *sniff* ;__;


End file.
